Self Exploration: Who Am I?

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I have yearned so much for you. I have expressed so much about you. Yet, I still find unfinished or to say even yet started—to be precise. I have always been candid in being true to myself and to those around me. I don’t give damn to what others think or perceive. I would like to say how I am. What am I to myself? I would like to explore myself, if you are interested than continue reading. Otherwise they are many pages on social media channels and the web, please entertain yourself. 

I am a person who does not uses brain/mind to perceive people around. My friends are always my hearts choice. If I like someone, than there is no limit for me to give or take. There is no ego or pride or wall that makes me feel I should act rationally. Sometimes my friends see me acting foolish or lacking an ego in that case. I don’t mind being low so that my friends can feel high. But do I continue doing this for all the eternity and against all odds?

Hell No!

I am a dreamer. A dreamer, who dreams even when he walks the talk. Whether waking or sleeping dreams, I adore my dreams and I feel that they shape my personality, my actions, my relations, and my life. I love them! They are the one who define beauty of being human to me, they are the one who make me feel what humanity is, they are the one who inspire me for being human, and they are the one who give me the love to share with you. I know you are also a dreamer. But, I am a day dreamer too.

From my side I don’t strike a deal with you for equal return of my sharing. But I do expect that. I wait. Yes I do wait. I am patient. But again, if there is no Sun coming on the horizon, I am the guy who takes a flight to Japan to meet the Sun. I don’t wait. I don’t wait for Goddot to arrive at the bus park. I am not a fucking absurdist who will dumb-founded believe only in words.

Living out Loud is essentially imbibed in my blood. I don’t remember a moment when I have given up my ambitions to circumstances. I believe that people attain their true desire no matter how adverse their situations are. So, if you think that how I manage time for being always free to be with you or to drink with you, just understand that I skip other things. Thing that is important for the world, but less important for me than you my dear friend. You are my priority. But again don’t ever remain in the impression that will remain so, if you don’t reciprocate.

An online astrologer said that people of my zodiac are always free birds even when in deep love. True shit! Yes, I am a free bird. I value my independence more than anything. But that does not means I don’t respect yours. I love to care for you my friend in my own way. In fact one of the best qualities I possess, I know what you need. I have such an habit to feel what people, near to my heart, feel. I do feel what a lady walking on high heels feel and in some cases I feel what a guy traveling in microbus feels when he just stares out of the window showing his middle finger to the hoty sitting in front of me. It’s so delightful to understand people and make them comfortable of being with you.

Seriousness? Yes I think I am very serious about what I am and what am I doing. Because my actions, whether its friendship with you or whether it’s the rum I choose, are all my hearts choice. But yes, I do have ample of brain to. I love my work. In fact the work I do is what I aspired to do. Its fucking amazing to work on the computers. They are always the same and do whatever you say. Its some time monolithic or tiresome to stare at these machines. But even if they don’t love you, they don’t promise any either. Neutrality is such boring shit to supersede dejection.
The Optimist by Matheus Lopes 

It is the possibility that keeps me going, and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.

                                               ― Nicholas Sparks









Now illogical feelings—bloody hell, lately I think I am not good at it. These crappy human signals especially those related to love/like—I don’t understand them. Or may be I understand and express them way faster than my companion. If it’s the second case, I am happy. It’s in my nature—not to wait. I don’t like to wait for the dew to evaporate from the green grass. I love walking on the dewy green grass and of course to have coffee with someone like you, sitting on the green grass and looking at the green field beyond.

I am not drunkard by blood nor am I a smoker. It’s been a short time since I have found them both better stuffs for some reclusion and temporary forgetfulness. They are my bullet trains out of the situation. And they are better. You can buy them, if you have some dimes in your pocket. Murder anyone who says you cannot buy happiness. That ass must be anti-alcoholic or anti-smoker.

Oh yes, the quote—Karma gar fal ko aasha na rakha (Do your deeds, don’t expect the fruit)—I believe in this. In fact, more than it says. I believe that if you do your best, you will get the best. But, what if you don’t get? Good question. Answer–  Realize that your home work was not sufficient.

I appreciate slow and steady people—they are my opposites. I hate boring people. People who have lost confidence and love for themselves. People who don’t learn. People who are dogmatic. People who don’t have the will to cross barriers and limits. If you are friend to me and if you have succeeded being so for a considerable time frame—I am thankful to you for upholding to being a human. You are a good human and a lovely person. You would not have been on my close friends list, otherwise.

 Keep it up. And Live out Loud.

“Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.” – See more at: http://www.georgetownframeshoppe.com/the-marquis-de-sade-without-hope-lithograph-from-original-gouache#sthash.Oun7WT5j.dpuf
“Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.” – See more at: http://www.georgetownframeshoppe.com/the-marquis-de-sade-without-hope-lithograph-from-original-gouache#sthash.Oun7WT5j.dpuf
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4 thoughts on “Self Exploration: Who Am I?

    • Thank you so much for encouraging me….and yes the madness is just for madness 😛 I am trying to figure it out… hopefully i will do it one day here. 😀

    • Thank you so much. I felt the pat of a fellow human with similar sentiments and approach to life, on my shoulder. That makes my day and gives extra dbs of sound to live out loud.

      Cheers!!!

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