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sometimes, you just like to be your own. just your own. this feeling creeps when all your efforts have yielded you nothing but frustration. all your expectations have led you to nothing but dejection. all your fantasies have led you to nothing but harsh reality. all these high hopes, euphoria and all the creativity that one consumes in trying to make that dream come true, leaves you exhausted. this is why after a tiring journey that has led to harsh ground, all you want is to remain to your self.

a break seems to be the most wonderful thing. not because it gives happiness, but because it gives us some time to explore what went wrong; some time to contemplate why it all happened; some moments to regret; some tears to sweep away all the remaining hopes and; finally some hope to move on.

there does not seems to be limit for things going bad. one after another. some events, some dreams, some ambitions, some relations are like the house made of beautiful tarrot cards. Too fragile to sustain any stress, too beautiful to destroy, and yet too much yearned to forget. each of those cards that crash down in a split of second, had taken a lot of emotions and efforts to erect. every layer of that beautiful card-house takes the best of us, and in the solitude of the aftermath of the quake, all we do is remember how it shook, crumbled, and fell to pieces.

I did not realize. the reality came crashing. or to say abruptly. i did not feel the pain when i was forced out of the door. when i became made a stranger. but the realization in the aftermath did stab me. devoured me. it was another event going the bad way.

in my resignation, i accepted it too. no protests. no pleadings. lots of regrets. comfortably numb.

when people walk away from you….let them go…..your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesnt mean they are bad people.
It just means that their part in your story is over.


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